SEMPER FI SINCE 1989

Vet2GoGo

Squared away reviews for the 50+ traveler — and the desk to book it.

Briefs

After Action Reports on gear, ships, and golf courses. Situation Reports on whatever we're in the middle of.

How to read a brief

Marks run from 0.0 to 5.0, the same pro and con marks he spent years handing out to Lance Corporals. Proficiency is whether it does the job. Conduct is whether it behaves while it does it: holds up, packs down, and doesn't embarrass you at the terminal.

The verdict is one of three: Outstanding for a 4 or 5, Serviceable for a 2 or 3, or UNSAT for a 1. Half marks round down: a 3.5 is Serviceable, because Outstanding takes a full 4. Above the scale sits Meritoriously Promoted, awarded only for something that goes way beyond a 5, and always with a written commendation.

After Action Reports

First up, from the archives: trips we took before the cameras came out, graded the same way.

Retro Brief: Regal Princess, December 2025

Port day on Roatán: the only 18 on the island

Feet up at sea, an excursion that never happened, and a Roatán pool all to ourselves.

Ship
Regal Princess
When
December 2025, Caribbean
Drinks
Beverage package
Paid, gifted, or comped
Paid our own way
3.0Proficiency
5.0Conduct
4.0Overall

Situation

A December float on the Regal Princess: a balcony, the beverage package, and a plan for every port. We like a slow vacation, and we hoped for fewer kids. We got that and then some.

Execution

Onboard. Order from your phone and they bring it to you. Drinks and fries found us at the Fountain Pool on Deck 16 without anybody leaving a lounger.

Cozumel. We booked an ATV tour through an outside company and ended up confirming it three times. The tour never happened. It worked out fine.

Roatán. Huny took a hotel day pass, and it turned into the highlight of the whole trip. It was the fringe of the off-season, so she was the only guest at the infinity pool until 2 o'clock, with our girl Sheree all to herself.

Her pool, all afternoon

Roatán, the other half. Gunny played the Black Pearl, the only 18 on the island. It's the reason our next booking includes Roatán.

Sustain

  • Split up on Roatán if you have to. The hotel day pass for one, the 18 for the other. Best day of the trip for both of us.
  • Order the house sangria, and don't forget to tip.
  • Go in the fringe of the off-season. The pool was ours alone until 2.
  • Let the app do the walking. Order to your spot and stay put.

Improve

  • Skip any booking you have to confirm three times. That's your answer right there.
  • Pick the ship for the crowd, not just the ports. This one skewed older than we wanted, even for two people who like it slow.

Verdict

OUTSTANDING

Recommended, 4 out of 5. The crowd cost it points, and the golf course won them back.

Bare feet up on the balcony table, coffee cup beside them, open ocean past the glass railing
Feet up, day at sea
Hand-painted beach bar signs on a thatched wall
Beach bar wisdom
Sheree, Gunny, and Nikki smiling in a selfie by the infinity pool
Our girl Sheree
A glass of fruit-filled sangria on a poolside table, palms and the sea behind
The house sangria
The white clubhouse above the infinity pool, green hills behind
The day pass
Loungers lined up along the infinity pool edge facing the Caribbean
Front-row loungers

Terrain walk: the Black Pearl

Gunny's brief on the Black Pearl. Captioned, music only

The only 18 on Roatán, a par 72 from the Dye family of course architects. It starts at the ocean, climbs into the foothills, and brings you back down to the clubhouse, with the Caribbean in view from most of the holes.

Warm up on the range before you tee off: you hit off a covered deck at target greens floating in the lagoon.

A fairway rolling up toward a green and bunkers, with terracotta-roofed villas on the hill above
Villas on the fairway
A tee box with a marker, the fairway climbing toward jungle-covered hills
The tee box
A tee box lined with palm trees under a bright sky
Palms on the tee
Long bunkers crossing the fairway, a green hill dotted with houses behind
Bunkers and the hill
A hitting mat and a crate of range balls facing target greens floating in a lagoon
The lagoon range
A framed Bobby Jones quote about golf and life on the clubhouse wall
Clubhouse wisdom

Must do

  • Book the breakfast brunch on your next-to-last day, for your final day at sea. That's a special, lazy last day, handled.

Want your product briefed like this? See the media kit

Retro Brief: Oregon Coast, August 2024

The crew in silhouette on a covered deck, watching the sun set over the Pacific
Sunset watch, Neskowin

Portland to Astoria, then down Highway 101 to Neskowin. Two rentals, five nights.

Route
Fly into Portland, drive to Astoria, then south on Highway 101
Rentals
Two Airbnbs: 2 nights in Astoria, 3 in Neskowin
Chow plan
Cooked big meals in, ate out one night in each town
Paid, gifted, or comped
Paid our own way
4.0Proficiency
5.0Conduct
4.5Overall

Situation

San Antonio in August is a furnace. We traded it for sweatshirt weather and five nights on the Oregon coast, split between a river town up north and a beach village too small for a boardwalk.

Execution

Astoria, two nights. The Astoria Column costs nothing to climb. You pay a small parking fee that's good for a year, and about 164 steps later you're looking out over the Columbia River and the bridge to Washington. Beside it sits a memorial shaped like a Chinook canoe, honoring Chief Comcomly. Then spend the afternoon at Astoria Brewing Company. Sand volleyball and that view make it a perfect day hang-out.

Down Highway 101. Tillamook Creamery sits right on the way south. The self-guided tour is free, no reservation needed, and the samples at the end are free too. We worked in a wine tasting and pulled over for the overlooks.

Neskowin, three nights. The Cafe on Hawk Creek was the foodie highlight: scratch-made food, a fun little shop with gear, and the Village Scoop for dessert.

Sustain

  • Rent the house with the view. It costs more, and it's worth every dollar.
  • Open every door and window. Let the sea air do the work.
  • Cook big, eat out once per town. That's how five nights on the coast stays affordable.

Improve

Call Neskowin Beach Golf Course and reserve a tee time. Gunny walked up without one and they got him out, but calling first is the smart move.

Nikki waving from a golf course practice green while Gunny looks on, with forested hills behind
Walk-up tee time

Verdict

OUTSTANDING

Recommended, 4.5 out of 5. Book the view.

A glass of rosé on the rental deck, with the sun setting over the Pacific
Deck duty
The sun low over the ocean, a headland and a few beach walkers in silhouette
Golden hour
A long curving beach seen from a high forested overlook
Highway 101 overlook
The Astoria Column on its hilltop under a gray sky
Astoria Column
Gunny and Nikki on the hilltop, with the Columbia River bridge behind them
The bridge to Washington
The canoe-shaped memorial overlooking the river valley
Comcomly canoe

Terrain walk: Neskowin Beach Golf Course

Tee shot, Neskowin

No reservation, no problem: Gunny walked up and they got him on the course. Nine holes, public, opened in 1932 and one of the oldest courses on the Oregon coast, laid out in a valley under the hills.

The one to walk up for is number 7. Follow the Stairway to Seven sign and take the trail to the high tee, where a 135-yard par 3 drops across a small creek.

Locals call it the Jewel or the Swamp, depending on the season: winter rain floods it and summer dries it out, so plan on the May to October season. For anyone who reads turf for a living, it's bentgrass greens and rye fairways.

Hand-painted signs reading Stairway to Seven and Trail to High Tee, 135 yards, par 3
Stairway to Seven
A bench and tee on top of a tree-covered hill above the course
The high tee
Golfers on a green below forested hills, a Golf Next Right sign by the road
Hill country green
A green with a white flag set against a forested hillside
Green under the hills

If you go

  • Respect the water. Sneaker waves and rip currents are real on this coast, and the water stays cold.
  • Start in Astoria. It's the natural first stop from Portland, and Neskowin is about two hours from the airport.
  • Skip the paid tour at Tillamook unless you want the guided tasting. The free one covers the factory floor.

Want your product briefed like this? See the media kit

Retro Brief: Punta Cana, September 2022

Palm trees and the Caribbean seen from a resort balcony
Balcony view, Majestic Mirage

All-inclusive at Majestic Mirage, with a swim-up lazy river on every floor and a view from every balcony.

Base
Majestic Mirage, all-inclusive, Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
Room
Swim-up lazy river on every floor, ocean view from every balcony
Awards earned
Best Bubble Attitude, by the Mayor
Paid, gifted, or comped
Partially comped: rooms 40 percent off through a Travel2Go veterans discount. Everything else we paid ourselves.
4.0Proficiency
5.0Conduct
4.5Overall

Situation

All-inclusive in Punta Cana. The hardest decision all week was which balcony to stand on.

Execution

The room. A swim-up lazy river runs along every floor, so the pool starts at your door. Every balcony looks out over the palms to the Caribbean.

The Mayor. Foam party by the pool. The Mayor was mayoring, and he walked away with Best Bubble Attitude.

Chow. Kampai was our favorite restaurant on the property.

The art. We joined in on the art and came home with a hand-painted serving dish. We still use it every week.

Sustain

  • Tip your staff. All-inclusive covers the food and drinks. It doesn't cover gratitude.
  • Participate in the art. You need a take-home memory, and ours earns its keep weekly.

Improve

  • Skip the cigar factory tour. Take our word on this one.
  • Lock up your valuables. We had a mishap, and it was our own fault.

Verdict

OUTSTANDING

Recommended, 4.5 out of 5.

Gunny grinning in the foam with a balloon ring around his neck
Best Bubble Attitude
A swim-up pool running along the length of a resort floor, with the ocean beyond
Swim-up, every floor
The Caribbean framed by the edge of a balcony pool
The view from the pool
Gunny relaxing at a shaded beach table, looking out at the water
Beach duty
A bottle of Mexican red wine and a glass on a candlelit table
Mexican red with dinner
A hand-painted wooden triple serving bowl with bright flowers
Take-home memory

Day one checklist

  • Book every restaurant reservation for the whole stay. That's the secret.
  • Tip the butler on day one, not on checkout day.
  • Lock the valuables in the safe before you unpack anything else.

Want your product briefed like this? See the media kit

Retro Brief: Hotel ZaZa, Dallas, June 2024

Fries served in a bamboo steamer beside the hotel pool, with cabanas and striped umbrellas
Fries for dinner, poolside

Huny's detachment: when it's just the girls.

Base
Hotel ZaZa, Dallas, Texas
Room
The Rock Star suite
Mission
Celebrate 50
Paid, gifted, or comped
Partially comped: we paid the original room rate and the Rock Star suite upgrade was comped.
4.0Proficiency
5.0Conduct
4.5Overall

Situation

A milestone birthday calls for a suite with a zebra chair. We stayed in, celebrated 50, and ate fries for dinner.

Execution

The suite. We asked for the upgrade and landed the Rock Star suite.

Chow. Fries for dinner, poolside, and no regrets. Dragonfly needs reservations, but the late spot we landed was worth it.

Sustain

  • Ask for the upgrades. The worst they can say is no.
  • Stay in and celebrate. The suite is the party.

Improve

  • Book Dragonfly ahead. Reservations are a must.
  • Set the budget, then hold it. We overspent on budget, not on memories.

Verdict

OUTSTANDING

4.5 out of 5, minus the budget overspend.

Nikki smiling in jeweled cat-eye glasses, settled into a zebra-print wingback chair
The zebra chair
Nikki's selfie in front of the suite's living room, with a gilded mirror and black leather sofa
Rock Star suite
Nikki and a friend smiling together poolside
The detachment

Want your product briefed like this? See the media kit

Product Brief: Voyager Snack Co., October 2026

After Action Report: Voyager Snack Co.

Fresh snacks in a tough bag that actually reseals. The granola is good, the trail mix is better, and the pretzel bites split the house.

Product
Voyager Snack Co. Golden Honey Granola, Expedition Granola, and Peanut Butter Pretzel Bites
Maker
VOS LLC, Chanhassen, Minnesota. Made in the USA.
Bags
Three resealable pouches, 12 to 14 oz each
On camera
Gunny
Paid, gifted, or comped
Paid our own way, through a grandchild's fundraiser. Voyager didn't pay for or approve this.
4.6Overall

OUTSTANDING

Situation

The bride ordered some things that were not on the grocery list. The good news: it was for a grandchild's fundraiser. So we paid for three bags from Voyager Snack Co., a small Minnesota outfit, and Gunny sat down to see what they taste like.

Execution

The bag, before anything else. Resealable. "I'm a big fan of that. I don't know why the cereal industry can't get on board." The pouches are tough, too. Nothing tore getting in or out.

Golden Honey Granola. "Tastes like granola. It's not bad granola. It's good." The catch is the format. Loose granola is awkward to get into your mouth. Pour it in a cup. You wouldn't eat it with a spoon.

Expedition Granola. Just as awkward to eat, but loaded with dried fruit, almonds, and cashews. It eats like trail mix. "If you like trail mix, you really ought to try that one."

Peanut Butter Pretzel Bites. Gunny went in afraid. "Nothing about peanut butter and pretzels sounds appealing to me." It came out exactly how he pictured it: "It's not horrible. It's not what I would like." Huny overruled him. She likes them, and that bag is hers now.

Freshness check. "None of this is stale." All three bags were fresh, and that's what makes the reseal worth having.

Bag by bag

Golden Honey Granola
"It's not bad granola. It's good." Bring a cup.
Expedition Granola
"If you like trail mix, you really ought to try that one." Gunny's pick.
Peanut Butter Pretzel Bites
Split decision. Gunny passes. Huny likes them.

Sustain

  • Resealable pouches. Rip the top, close it back up, toss it in the golf bag.
  • A durable bag that's not going to tear.
  • Fresh. Not one stale bite across three bags.
  • Made in the USA, and Expedition lists what's in it right on the front.

Improve

  • Loose granola is hard to eat on the move. You'll want a cup or a bowl.
  • The nutrition panel and allergen line are small print. Bring your readers.

Verdict

Outstanding. Recommended, 4.6 out of 5. Fresh snacks in a bag that won't tear and actually reseals.

Cutting the tape on the shipping box on the kitchen counter
Knife meets tape
Gunny reading the back of a Voyager bag
Reading the fine print
Peanut Butter Pretzel Bites pouch on the counter
Huny's bag
Expedition Granola pouch on the counter
Gunny's pick
Golden Honey Granola pouch on the counter
Golden Honey, 14 oz
Back of the Golden Honey Granola bag with nutrition facts and Made in USA seal
Read the back

This is what our marks are for. A brand can pay for our time. Nobody can pay for the grade.

Want your product briefed like this? See the media kit

Product Brief: CHUNMU AI recorder pen, September 2026

After Action Report: the AI pen

A good idea, a tiny QR code, and a subscription nobody mentioned.

Product
CHUNMU AI Voice Recorder pen
Price
$59.99, bought September 22, 2026
Listing
3.7 stars from 24 ratings at time of purchase
On camera
Huny
Paid, gifted, or comped
Paid our own way. CHUNMU didn't pay for or approve this.
1.0Proficiency
1.0Conduct
1.0Overall

UNSAT

Situation

A pen that records your meetings and transcribes them. Sixty dollars, bought on impulse, which is a fair description of how most people buy a gadget like this.

Execution

Unboxed it, charged it, paired it with the phone. All of that went fine. Then came the part that decided the grade: a QR code the size of a fingernail, printed inside a 20-page instruction manual written mostly in Chinese.

The QR code leads to the app. The app is where the transcription lives, and it's a subscription. When we scanned the code in September 2026, the plans we were shown were $30 a month for 100 minutes and $75 a month for 1,000 minutes, which is roughly five real meetings.

So the $60 pen needs up to $900 a year behind it to do the job it was bought for.

What failed

  • The price of actually using it was not on the box, not in the item description, and not anywhere we could read in the manual.
  • The manual is 20 pages, mostly in a language the buyer doesn't read. English is not optional for an English-language listing.
  • The hardware is useless without the subscription. Sixty dollars buys a pen that needs $360 to $900 a year behind it to do its one job.

Improve

  • Put the subscription price on the listing and on the box, in the same type size as the features.
  • Ship an English manual with a QR code somebody over 50 can actually see.
  • Let the pen record and export audio without a subscription, even if transcription stays paid.
  • Include a starter allowance of minutes with the hardware, so the thing works out of the box.

Verdict

UNSAT. This one's going back. Not because the idea is bad, it isn't, but because the cost of using it was hidden until after the box was open.

Prices and plans change. This is what we were shown on the day we bought it, and what we based the mark on.

This is what our marks are for. A brand can pay for our time. Nobody can pay for the grade.

Want your product briefed like this? See the media kit

Spec ads, in production

Shot on our own dime so you can see the work before you spend a dollar. Gunny’s Lawn Rules, the product review, and the style spot are live. We bought every product ourselves, and none of these brands paid for or approved anything.

Lawn rules · Gunny
Product review · Huny
Style on a budget · Huny

Paid, gifted, or comped: none. We bought every item ourselves.

Situation Reports

The running log of trips, events, and projects. Where we're headed, what we're filming, what changed, and what we got wrong last time.

Also on the calendar

November 2
Margaritaville at Sea, out of Palm Beach, booked on Heroes Sail Free
Filming now
Spec ads: unboxing, testimonial, and two cut from archive footage
Standing by
Gear briefs as each product finishes its run

Want something briefed?

Tell us what you'd like run through the wringer. He tests it, she films it, and the mark falls where it falls.

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